How Thankful I feel.

This time last year, I was really struggling with Will being gone. I knew the end was near, but that didn't help the stress and the anxiety and fear go away. Will had missed birthdays and anniversaries and some holidays, but we've always been together as a family for Thanksgiving and Christmas. And maybe if I hadn't had to struggle with the Christmas tree lights things would have been better...that was always Will's job.

You know how sometimes you realize how blessed you are in your life, and then a little time passes and you forget how blessed you still really are? That whole taking things for granted stuff. While Will was gone, my testimony of the importance of family and eternal families was solid. I knew that whatever happened, as hard as it may be, we would still be a family as long as we were each doing our part. Since he's been home, I've definitely taken family for granted again.

Then this weekend, Will received a call to do a job he's trained for in the National Guard for the first time. Its called - get ready for another Army acronym - CAO, which is Casualty Affairs Officer. A CAO is someone who has the...unfortunate task...of telling a family that their husband, wife, son or daughter has been either wounded or killed in action. Sunday night's call was for Will, along with a Chaplain, to tell a family that their son was killed in Afghanistan.

My heart was so heavy as I thought about this poor family, seeing two decked out in uniform soldiers at their doorstep giving unimaginable news. My heart was breaking for Will, too. I can't imagine how hard that would be.

This event has had me on the verge of tears since Sunday night. I knew where Will was going and what he had to do, but the kids kept asking questions about why Will was in in uniform and where was he going so late at night. I realized that for more than 6 months last year, I could have been the one to have two decked out in uniform soldiers at my door. It just made things all too real. And, sadly it happens daily somewhere in this great country. I honestly can't imagine.

So this morning, I was on calorie 764 on my way to my daily 1000 and mile 4.6 on the elliptical, listening to "Party in the U.S.A." by Miley Cyrus (don't judge me) and Iron Man started playing on the screen in front of my face. I know it's just a movie, but it's just too real for me now - especially the first part of the movie. I know Will traveled those same roads in Afghanistan...the same ones that many men and women have lost their lives on. Wow! I feel so thankful. So the combination of "Party in the U.S.A.", Iron Man, the thoughts of the sad news Will had to deliver on Sunday night, and realizing how lucky I was that I got my husband back - how lucky so many are - brought me to tears at the gym. I guess my mind was putting a little patriotic theme together in my exhausted condition.

I am so thankful for my family. I'm thankful that I can see the eternal perspective of things. How humble I feel to know how blessed I am. I'm thankful that I have a desire to keep my family together forever. A lot of people don't because they can't see past themselves.

I'm overflowing with things to be thankful for. But mostly, I'm thankful for hope and faith. Life would be very hard without those two things. I'm so thankful for the teachings of Jesus Christ...without them Thanksgiving would just be about the food.